Pottermore's Terms Re-interpreted

Pottermore’s terms and conditions, condensed, and translated from legalese to Human. So Read below, and get a sense of your Pottermore Rights.

1)This is the introduction, we’re Pottermore, we call ourselves this, and so far only allow you to access things through the website.  These are our terms, here are cookies we use, and additional terms may apply for things and are added here.

2)This describes what we are.

3)You need Internet, a parent, and you are limited to JUST one Pottermore Account, more than one account and we can get rid of it.  Oh, and Pottermore shop stuff has to be all true, notification must be prompt.

4) Minors need parental approval; kids less than 13 year old need special approval.  And we can do other things to your account, withdraw or terminate your access at our sole discretion.

5) Everything you post, contribute, or submit are user generated content.  This includes your nicknames.  Our moderators are supposed to agree are final.  

Oh, and you agree that nothing has personal info, everything is a tweet sized, all must be in only one language, no lying, no threats or harassment, obscenity or distress inducing, OR trolling OR embarrassing.  Plus you can’t post comments unrelated to the subject matter on the page the comments are posted on after a warning.  Also, you can only use Pottermore without breaking the law and just for Pottermore things, so no sending messages through Pottermore to other users, no harassing or misleading anyone contacted with Pottermore, and you will stop bothering a person as soon as they ask you to.  And don’t break copyright laws! 

You can’t distribute links, complain about our decisions, spam, distribute viruses, get business, copy trademarks without permission, lie about who you are, let someone else use your account, get on Pottermore when you’re banned/grounded and you can’t make agreements through Pottermore or inhibit people from enjoying Pottermore or makes Pottermore liable for things.  (Special note: this both justifies, AND goes against troll reporting, so really, flip a coin there)

Oh, and you post stuff to Pottermore, you’re saying you own it, you aren’t infringing on stuff and PM can use whatever content you make for whatever reason, same with it’s members, but only if the members do not make money.  It’s cool if we make money though.  Oh and…  WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THINGS.

6) We give out galleons.  You buy things with them. You can earn house points, we can give points for games or other reasons, house cup resets points to 0.  Oh, but galleons and house points are worthless, so no money for them.

Oh, and we can take galleons and house points or give them if we want.

7) You can play the games, no copying, reverse engineer or renting the games.  You can’t screenshot any game without our permission.  (Many, many users break this one, for a myriad of reasons, and it’s a rule that isn’t really enforced, so just treat it as PM being stupid).  Games have additional terms that we won’t list, but you have to agree when you play anyways.

Oh and if you feel sick, NO GAME FOR YOU, oh and we can take games away from you too. 

8)This one’s about moderation, if you see something bad, email us though the help page or hit report this.  Oh, and we can, to any user, record their content, investigate claims about not being ok for our standards, remove any content with personal info, do anything to content, remove any content even if it doesn’t break the rules, SUSPEND, BAN OR DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT FOR ANY REASON.  IF YOU TRY TO LOG IN UNDER A DIFFERENT ONE, WE CAN DO THE SAME THERE TOO.  YOU CANNOT DISAGREE ON POTTERMORE, ANYTHING WE CHOSE TO DO CANNOT BE CONTESTED.

9-12)BOOKS!  I’m not going to list them because it’s really all-just book purchase stuff.  

13)You can’t disclose any personal information, also please read our privacy policy?

14)We can delete any account after 6 months of inactivity

15)No linking from Pottermore to other things, and we aren’t responsible for it, also, you can’t link to anything other than Pottermore.com or the shop.

16) Our stuff is our stuff.

17) You need other people’s things to use Pottermore.

18) WE ARE NOT LIABLE FOR MOST THINGS, oh, though if we don’t ‘comply with the terms; we’re liable for a hundred pounds or less.  Plus we promise reasonable skill and care to correct what we know is wrong.

19) You have to pay us any fees associated with terms breach or liability you gave Pottermore.

20) COPYRIGHT STUFF, don’t use it.

21) Use help on the first instance if you have complaints or need info.

22) We can only write to you electronically

23)If something’s bad in our agreement, we can throw it out

We don’t rely on this for contract law.

This is personal, no transfer, and if we don’t punish you now, we can do so If we want to in the future.

24) We can change these every now and then, and will notify you with an email or by posting a copy on Pottermore.  (Read: if they do the second that should be proper notice.  Or doesn’t mean both, it means, one, the other, or both.).  All the changes take effect within seven days, and after you are bound by them.

25) English terms, English law governs, but you get the protections of wherever you live.

26) See our help page

27) This is where we live

So with all that here's really what to take away:

Be careful. While things like Pottermore Watch, this blog, and my forum exist, as well as the petitions of many users, these terms ultimately do favor Pottermore, not us users. But we do have what they do want, which is money. Pottermore needs us to keep promoting the site, and to survive. So please, write to Pottermore. Let them know what you want, and make sure to help us all make it a better site for everyone!