This was written by talented Slytherin Sionna
Raven! You can find more of here stories at her Live
Journal Profile.
This ties in well with Pottermore's suspected
release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Chapters that will be
arriving on Halloween! What do you think of this interpretation of Sirius'
'mission'?
Summary: Sirius arrives at Remus' place in June
1995. After two years on the run, he's probably not the most kind and social
person to be with. Remus is kind and understanding. Dumbledore has his own
plans.
Alert the old crowd and lie low at Lupin's. Yes
Sir, at your service whatever you say... Snuffles is going to be a good boy.
Shall I sit and wag my tail? Maybe I can get your slippers first and the latest
Prophet?
***
“Who's there? Is that you, Sirius?” Remus opens
the door, rubbing his eyes. “ Come on in.”
The small semi-detached house hasn't changed
much throughout the years, nice and tidy as it always was, perhaps a bit more
worn, more faded. The crocheted cloths on the rests are gone. Remus hated them.
His Muggle mother made them to cover the thin fabric and the stains, to cover
the time with useless work. Cover up what you can't change.
Remus gestures me to the old sofa. I hesitate to
sit down. The months in the cave have not left me in a state to go near clean
furniture. Remus smiles wryly.
“Do you really think it matters?” , but he
summons a blanket.
He waits patiently for me to get ready to talk.
When has he ever been impatient?
After having seen every single living member of
the Order tonight, telling them that Dumbledore calls us to duty, I'm dead
tired, but I owe Remus a report of tonight's events. He listens with
apprehension, wringing his hands when I tell him about Harry's strange duel
with Voldemort.
“And what about Harry? Is he all right?”
“Yes, only a few scratches. He fought bravely.”
Do I believe that rubbish? The boy should never
have been in this bloody tournament. He has been through more than enough
during the previous years. Dumbledore was supposed to keep him safe! I
forfeited all rights to decide Harry's fate when I let Hagrid take him away,
not even asking where. I've been a lousy godfather. I was scared of the
responsibility. What did I know about caring for a toddler? Dumbledore knew
best, he always does. I had already failed the parents.
“He is a brave boy, just like James.” says Remus.
Like James, I wish he was. I miss James. My
thoughts must have shown in my face.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to remind you.”
I sigh. Don't apologize when you've done nothing
wrong. One thing I miss about James is that he could be such an insufferable
prat himself that I never felt guilty, when I was one.
“Dumbledore has sent me to stay with you for a
while. Do you have a warm place for a tired old stray to curl up for the
night?”
“You can have the second bedroom. Give me a
minute to get it ready.”
Remus looks me up and down.
“You might want a bath, before you go to bed.”
“No thanks. I'd fall asleep and drown in a hot
tub, I'm afraid. A blanket in front of the fire is all I need for tonight.”
Remus frowns. “I'll take a bath first thing in the morning, I promise. The
spell you're looking for is Expulex.”
I don't give him any chance for further
arguments and turn into Padfoot. I grab the blanket with my teeth and pull it
to the dying fire. Stretching the blanket on the floor, turning on the spot to
flatten the grass and drive away the snakes. Remus gives in as usual and goes
to the door. From the corner of my eye I see him draw his wand.
“Expulex!”
***
I wake up to the smell of bacon and eggs, the
sound of sizzling fat and a whistling kettle. I rise and stretch and yawn and
follow the enticing smells and noises to the kitchen.
Remus doesn't turn around.
“No dogs in the kitchen!”
I sit on the doorstep, sniffing. Remus walks
over to the fridge to get some butter. I look hopefully. He throws me one slice
of bacon which I catch in the air. Best thing I've had for months.
“That's enough, Padfoot. Bathroom, off you go.
You stink!”
I long for a hot soak myself, but... One more on
the way? I raise a paw and whine a little. I knew he won't say no.
***
Breakfast feels like heaven. Remus is watching
me. I can't stand this look. I don't need your pity. I don't want your pity. I
haven't really been starving in the cave. A good hound always gets his hare and
there were rabbits, squirrels and once or twice a juicy partridge. Padfoot
doesn't need much.
It's just that I prefer cooked human food.
Padfoot does, too. Bacon and eggs, fried tomatoes, a warm crisp toast dripping
with melted butter and a good strong cup of tea with milk and sugar!
“I'll get brown sugar for you from the village
store.” Remus sounds apologetic again.
I realize that I probably have swallowed his
week's supply of food and start feeling guilty.
“You don't need to provide for me. I can give
you access to my Gringott's vault. The Goblins don't care that I'm a wanted
criminal as long as they get their fees.”
“The Goblins don't, but Fudge and his Aurors do.
Don't worry, I can keep you for a while. I've got a regular job.”
“That's great. What are you doing?”
Remus pushes over the Prophet.
“Page five!”
Small ads, the newest development in magic
gardening.... 'Ask Millicent'?
“You're kidding. You're not trying to tell me
you are Millicent Trimble?”
I really try not to laugh, but I fail. Remus
shrugs.
“Why not? It's an honest job, it pays the bills
and most important I can work from home.”
“Finding work shouldn't be so difficult now that
you're on Wolfbane Potion.”
Remus stares down at his toast.
“I'm not. Snape only made it while I was at
Hogwarts, on Dumbledore's orders. He stopped the day I left.”
“Bastard!”
“Sirius be fair. Brewing Wolfbane is expensive
and time-consuming. I can't expect him to do it out of pure kindness.” He tries
to smile. “I don't mind too much to be honest. The stuff tastes awful.”
Is this supposed to be funny? A dark voice in my
mind starts whispering 'He never liked taking it. He never took it in time. If
he had taken it in time, the rat was rotting in Azkaban.'
Don't let him see what you're thinking. It's
nonsense. He saw Peter on the Map and acted on impulse. Nobody is to blame.
“Hey, this means that Moony and Padfoot can have
a night out next full moon. It'll be great. Like old times.” I try to sound
cheerful.
There's a gleam in Remus' eyes, but he shakes
his head.
“Better not, this is a densely populated area.
We can't be sure that Padfoot is able to control the wolf. Last year you....”
“Last year I wasn't in the best shape.”
“And you are now?” Stop looking like that! “ No,
it's too dangerous. Dumbledore has told you to keep a low profile while you're
here.”
“Has he? I don't remember.”
“He called when you were in the bath. Asked, if
you arrived safely and everything went all right with informing the others. He
told me to be careful and that we should not draw unnecessary attention to your
stay with me.”
“How nice and caring. Any more orders? Two bowls
a day, provide fresh water, treat against fleas and ticks? Oh yes, of course,
don't let him run off leash.”
“Sirius, you are impossible. Dumbledore is
worried; he does care for you. Peter has probably informed the Death Eaters
about your Animagus form and someone like Lucius Malfoy may find a way to pass
this information to Fudge.”
“Dumbledore hasn't incidentally said something
about my trunk? I've left it with Hagrid when I returned in autumn. Your
father's bathrobe is very comfortable, but I long for my own fitting clothes.”
“No, he hasn't mentioned it, but I'm sure he'll
sent it along soon. Don't complain about the bathrobe; the colour matches your
eyes. I'm afraid there's no way you fit into my clothes, beanpole.”
“It doesn't match my knees.” I pout.
Remus laughs. Then he gets serious and rises
from his chair.
“I've got to leave you for a while. Shopping. No,
you can't come.” He adds, when I look hopeful. “I'll be back soon.”
Standing in the door frame he takes a look
around.
“Just in case you get bored, I don't mind you
doing the washing up.”
“Get yourself a house elf”, I laugh. “and bring
biscuits!”
“Biscuits?” Then he remembers. “Dog biscuits! Be
a good boy, Padfoot and I'll give you a treat.”
He dodges the fried mushrooms I throw at him and
is out off the door.
After I amused myself reading Remus' column in
the Prophet, checked the spare bedroom he offered, cut my hair to look halfway
civilised and had another two cups, I'm finally bored enough to do the chores.
The kitchen is clean and shiny again and Remus
still hasn't returned. Dumbledore still hasn't sent my trunk. What is he
thinking? Not only my clothes are in the trunk, my wand is also. I was stupid
to leave it, but Dumbledore's refusal to let me stay with Hagrid came as a
surprise. I found myself in that cave with two blankets, a packed lunch and a
matchbox, before I really had time to think. It's only a cheap replacement I
got from a backstreet dealer, but I feel useless without it.
I decide to do what I always do, when I have
nothing to do. I turn into Padfoot and curl up at a sunny spot near the window
to doze. Outside a robin is singing, but its song doesn't tell me anything.
***
I stay Padfoot when Remus finally returns with
loads of deliciously smelling shopping bags. He praises me for having been a
good boy and gives me my biscuits.
“You're not going to change back, are you?”
I grin and nibble on the last biscuit. Remus
resigns to having a dog instead of a friend and serves the sandwiches for a
late lunch on the floor. He even lets me out to the back garden when I scratch
at the door. I challenge him for a game of stick-throwing. He obliges without
much enthusiasm. He's not James. He can't really deal with me.
I give up and look for things to do on my own. I
chase a tabby cat up a fence post. Hey moggie, just kidding! Won't hurt you.
She eyes me suspiciously, but she understands. Remus doesn't. He calls me back.
All right, I'll be a good boy. I roll on the grass and jump after butterflies.
Remus watches me. That look of pity again.
“James was right. You're so much happier as a
dog and I would give anything never to turn into the beast again.”
I rub my nose at his hips to comfort him. Don't
be sad. I like Moony. I don't blame him for trying to bite me last year. No
harm done.
We sit down on the patio for a while. I rest my
head on his knee. He runs his fingers through my fur. Oh yes, that's good,
right behind the ears. Don't stop.
He starts talking, about Sirius, about James, about
Lily and their puppy Harry. I listen. He needs someone to talk to, but Sirius
can't. He thinks too much. It's better this way. You talk; I listen. We're not
alone any more. I stay with you for a while. I'm your doggie. It's good to be a
dog, no need to talk, no need to remember, your fingers fondling my ears.
Suddenly he stands up.
“I need to do a bit of work today, one or two
reply letters.”
We go back into the house and Remus sits down at
his desk. I stretch out in front of the fire.
“I guess you're not going to help me?”
I stretch and grin. Dogs like me can grin. Remus
starts reading a letter, taking notes.
The fire is cold. I wish he would light it. I
like fire. I rest my head on my front paws staring at him pointedly.
“Do you want me to do anything?”
I wag my tail and look at the fireplace.
“Fire? It isn't cold in here.”
I whimper looking at him and then at the
fireplace, back and forth.
“All right, all right, I light a fire for you.”
Remus flicks his wand and tiny flames spring up.
I wag my tail cheerfully.
“Careful Padfoot, you'll catch fire.”
No, I won't! I roll on my back and stretch
luxuriously. Fire feels so good. Red tongues lick at the wooden logs; yellow
flames waver. Some have tiny blue tips. Sparks fly up into the blackness of the
chimney. The warmth penetrates my fur, my skin, my whole body, my soul. I roll
over. I watch the flames, red and gold dancing merrily. When I close my eyes, I
can still see the flickering flames. I listen to the crackle of the wood and
the scratching of Remus' pen, slowing sinking deep into the warmth. Let it last
forever, never feel cold again. I swish my tail to put out the sparks that have
fallen on my fur. Outside the sky turns red, red like the flames. The
scratching of Remus' pen has ceased. His chin rests on his folded hands. He's
watching me again, worry and pity. Yes; it's because of the Dementors! So what?
You don't understand. You can't! Nobody can! I manage; I managed within; I will
manage now. Why not enjoy the warmth, when you can? No harm done.
Remus finally moves.
“What do you think? Time for supper?”
I rise, too, Supper sounds good to me.
“Turn human, if you want your share. I won't
waste shepherd's pie and spotted dick on a dog.”
I lower my head, look away, yawn. Calming
signals. I don't really want to turn human, but I know I've got to sooner or
later. Good food is a reason.
Before I've performed the transformation, the
door bell rings. I jump up and run to the door barking.
Remus shoos me away and opens. Dumbledore,
twinkling, smiling kindly and he's got my trunk! I stop barking, but I don't
wag my tail.
“Remus, nice to see you. And you of course,
Padfoot. Nice to see you, too.”
He bows slightly down to pet my head and then fondles
my ear. He knows exactly what he's doing and he's damn good at it. I can't help
wagging.
“May I come in?”
“Yes, of course, we were about to make supper.
Do you want to join us?”
“No thanks, but don't let me disturb you. I've
come to talk to Sirius. Padfoot, if you don't mind....”
I do mind! I step back and stop wagging. A talk
with Dumbledore always makes me feel like I'm still a student, but wearing a
silk dressing gown, red with green paisley, twice my size and barely long
enough to cover my knees it becomes unbearable. Remus saves the situation.
“I think Sirius would prefer to change first.
He's been waiting for his trunk all day.”
“How thoughtless of me, sure go change. I'll
talk to Remus first.”
So kind and understanding, thank you very much.
I run up the stairs following my trunk to the second bedroom. The two of them
return to the sitting room.
“Yes Albus, he seems fine enough. A bit grumpy
for having to wear my father's bathrobe.”
Dumbledore chuckles, while Remus obviously
describes the look. I thought you were my friend!
When I return, Dumbledore is about to finish
giving a more detailed account of last night.
“Severus went back to Voldemort on my orders.
That's why I've been so late, he needed some rest after his return and I wanted
to wait for his report, before I made any further decisions.”
“Snape is a Death Eater?” Remus cries out in
shock. “Did you know that?”
I nod. I must have forgotten to mention this
detail last night. He returned to Voldemort hours after the Dark Mark started
to burn? There's no denying the slimy git's got guts. It took a good deal of
nerve to show the mark to Fudge, but that.... What on earth made Dumbledore
think his spy had any chance to return alive? 'Since when does he care?'
whispers the dark voice in my mind. I don't listen to Dementor's echoes.
“Severus joined our side during the first war.
The information he provides is invaluable for our fight. I expect both of you
to get along with him.”
“Certainly Albus, I'll do my best to work with
Severus.” Is there no limit to your kindness, Remus? You have even more reason
to hate Snivellus than I have. Have you forgotten what he planned the night he
went down the tunnel? But it's 'yes Albus, sure Albus, everything you ask me to
do'. Sit at heel, wag your tail, Moony! Who's the dog? You or me?
“Keep the snake away from me and I'll promise
not to hex him first!” I growl. Joined during the first war? There's no doubt
who fed you the lies which made you believe I was the traitor.
Dumbledore's eyes bore into my mind. I hardly
can hold his gaze. I won't look away, not now! I won't forget just to please
you.
“Sirius, I need you, especially you, to
co-operate with Severus. I came here to ask you a favour which makes it inevitable
for you to meet with him quite often.” Dumbledore fumbles in his pockets. “But
at first I have something for you. Kingsley removed it from the Ministry stores
this morning and sent it to me. He thought you might like to have it back.”
I can't believe my eyes! He produces my wand. My
own blackthorn wand. It feels so good to hold it again. I run my fingers over
the decorated surface fighting the urge to try it immediately. It has become a
bit dull over the years, but otherwise it's in perfect condition. 'Don't let
them know what this means to you.' warns the voice in my mind. I can't hide my
happiness. I am so grateful I would do anything. Now with my wand back I can do
something at last.
“Thank you very much, Albus. This is.... Tell
Kingsley I'm so grateful. “ I pause for a second wondering. “He won't get in
trouble because of it, will he?”
“Don't worry. He replaced it with a fake. He's
in charge of your case now. There's no danger that anyone else will try it and
find out. They are a bit reluctant to touch a Dark Wizard's wand.”
“Superstitious idiots!” I laugh.”You said I can
do you a favour. What is it? I'll be more than happy to be of use.”
Dumbledore looks very satisfied.
“Well, you mentioned to Harry that he could live
with you in your house. I suppose you meant your parents' house in London. Your
flat has been cleared by the Ministry after your arrest. The house would be
ideal for headquarters of the Order. Hogwarts with its Anti-Apparition wards is
rather inconvenient to have a lot of people come and go. Are you sure the house
belongs to you? Your parents have disowned you.”
“Yes, the house is mine. There's a magic entail
on it my parents couldn't break. They cut me off from access to the family
vault and I couldn't enter the house at will anymore, while they lived. They
might have been able to twist the entail to put Regulus first, but after his
death it returned to me. It may have been different, if he had sons of his own.
As it stands I'm the only living male of the name of Black. I guess my mother
passed some of her private fortune and belongings on to my cousins. It won't
make a noticeable difference.”
“You seem quite confident about that.”
Dumbledore asks.
I nod. There's no doubt. “My father made us
learn about Black family tradition, Black family laws and all the other
nonsense, since we were hardly able to read or write. Direct male line Sirius,
Orion, Arcturus, Sirius, Phineas, Mortimer, Alphard, Regulus, Pollux,
Cygnus....blahblahblah. 56 generations learned by heart over the years, to be
recited before bedtime. The house is at your disposal, if you wish, but for two
small problems. The protections are rather tricky and only answer to someone of
Black blood and it's not empty.”
“Not empty?”
“My parents' house elf Kreacher, lovely fellow.
I suppose he's still alive, lurking in the house, waiting for someone to come
and cut his head off for dropping the tea tray. I guess I should return and do
him the favour.”
“Sirius! How could you? An elf is bound to
follow his masters' orders and can't be held responsible.” Remus is quite
upset. He's never met Kreacher. Traditional family elves aren't the cute,
obedient fellows he knows from Hogwarts. Dumbledore should know better.
“The elf belongs to you. He must obey your
orders.”
“I can make him. But that doesn't solve the
problem with the wards. The house can get rather unfriendly, unless I come to
live there.”
“That's what I wanted to ask from you. “
Dumbledore states and adds in a casual tone. “Harry only has to stay with his
relatives for a short time once a year. If you can make it fit for human
accommodation, he can spend the summer with you.”
Live there again? I offered it to Harry in the
spur of the moment. As a free man I could have changed a lot, dropped most of
the wards, torn it down to the foundation walls and rebuild from scratch, if
necessary. Will it be possible to turn it into a home for Harry and me without
drawing too much attention? It must be possible. Dumbledore had not offered it,
if he thought it wasn't. I will do my utmost to make it a home, a bit of
cleaning, clearing out the dark stuff. It's not a prison, when I hold the keys.
Dumbledore talks on. He explains the advantages
of its central location, large enough for the whole order to meet and protected
against the Ministry. I don't really listen anymore. I'm planning how to make
the house inhabitable. To give Harry a home....
“I'll have a look at the house first thing
tomorrow. “
“Remus can accompany you. You'd better go as
Padfoot. The Auror Office doesn't have his description, yet.”
Dumbledore has had his say and leaves.
Clanking plates wake me from my dreams. Remus is
preparing supper. I should go and help him. There's not much left for me to do.
“I'll do the washing up.” I promise.
“I never knew you were so skilled with doing the
chores.”
I don't tell him how many hours we've spent in
the kitchen watching Kreacher. Father locked himself up in his study and it was
usually better to avoid Mother.
***
"Are you sure you want to do it?"
“Do what?”
“Return to your parent's house to live there. As
long as I remember you said you hated the place.”
I breathe deeply. I'm asking myself the same
question since Dumbledore mentioned it. Do I really want to return?
“It's just a house.” Am I trying to convince
Remus or myself? “It's not like it is cursed or something. It became a prison
because my mother made it one. To be honest it used to be quite luxurious, lots
of space for me and Harry. Maybe his friends can come, too and fill it with
life and laughter.”
“Sirius, have you listened to one word
Dumbledore has said? You won't be able to leave it and you will have to stay
there, when Harry returns to Hogwarts.”
“I've heard what he said, Bullocks! Of course I
will be able to get out. I've been able to escape the Aurors for two years. I
have my own wand back and a safe place to live. Why should it be more difficult
now? I know a bit of Transfiguration and if you can part with a lock or two,
there's Polyjuice. ”
Remus looks at me doubtfully. Can't he
understand that I want to have a chance with Harry?
I remember how Regulus and I played as kids.
Harry could do the same. He is still just a boy. I'd love to play Quidditch
against him to see, if I'm still up to it and show him a few tricks. I imagine
how we would talk. I'd like to know, if he likes blueberries. James was mad
about them. Mrs Potter feared the time when they were ripe more than anything
else, because the stains can't be removed magically. Lily made pies and chased
us out off the kitchen with a broom.
James and I had made so many plans for Harry,
all the things we wanted to show him, all the places we wanted to take him.
First of all I want to take him to Godric's Hollow to visit his parents'
graves. It was the first place I went after Azkaban.
Maybe it's not too late to be a godfather.
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